Apparently, I really have difficulties keeping track of time. Between my first blog about this subject and my second, at least three weeks passed, not two. Which means the operation is even closer than I expected.

*runs away screaming*

Okay, it’s not that bad. Not yet. People ask me that all the time if I’m nervous or afraid. Mostly I’m starting to get annoyed with this stupid question. No just kidding ;-), mostly I’m impatient.

Mostly though, mostly I’m impatient.

But that is unrelated to the operation.

No, mostly I am not really busy with it. I pay more attention to what I eat and when I eat but other than that I’m not that busy with the operation. I’m sure that will come as soon as I know a date but for now. No, not afraid, most of the time.

Anyway, let’s continue with the chronological story. I must note that this is just from memory and things can be inaccurate because as stated above…I really, sometimes…often…almost always have difficulties keeping track of time.

So, somewhere in 2014, I stopped with the Cambridge diet. The first time I really noticed I was gaining weight was when there was a reprise of the play I was in in 2013. Around the same time in 2014 we performed the play again and there I noticed that the clothes I had worn the year before didn’t fit that well anymore. Then again, it was a good excuse to wear my “Trust me I’m the Doctor” t-shirt. As I played doctor it was appropriate. (and yes, I I did have my sonic screwdriver with me during the play, like duh)

I was of course annoyed with myself but being annoyed with myself is apparently not enough reason for me to lose weight or to put an effort in it.

I was at a loss, the last thing I wanted was an operation, I would feel like I had given up on myself and that I was too weak to do it by myself. Of course, now I know that’s ridiculous but that’s how I felt. I was also scared. Because everybody had heard the horror stories of operations gone wrong.

So for a while…I did nothing. Well, I still had my newspaper round and my general stamina was still pretty okay although not on the same level as before. And I really did attempt to start running again but in the end…nothing. I always had excuses too. Work, other “projects” etc etc. Meanwhile I sat at home and watched youtube and ordered food online. Go me!

Okay, enough self-loathing for now. Otherwise, people might get worried. Don’t worry, I’m fine, I was also fine back then.

It was here that a colleague of mine said she wanted to talk to me and said she was worried. She saw me gain weight. I said I knew and I was working on it. And I was…but probably not as much as I could have or should have.

There was only one more push that I needed and that came in the form of my dad. But more about that later.

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